Tags
Today is the three week mark for our potty training adventure. It’s a funny thing to blog about because this is really the first time that I have a sense of encroaching on my child’s privacy – one’s excretory system does seem a bit personal. But as I’ve been going through this I’ve been so obsessed with hearing the dirty details of other people’s experiences that I am going to share mine. Reading about the official “methods” does nothing for me, what I want to know is what was/is it like for you??
We’re still in the process so this is definitely NOT the “wrap-up” post that I thought I would be writing today, but that’s okay. He’s doing great with pee, not so great with pooping, which is very typical I know. He was doing well with the latter at first, but had one bad (messy) experience that really turned him off – in a moment I’ll explain how I’m handling that now.
Potty training hasn’t really been stressful – in fact for the first two weeks I’d say it was downright fun. Only in the last week have I started to have a little anxiety over whether I am doing it “right,” pushing too hard, not enough, etc. It’s perfectly fine if it takes him a few more weeks to get it down, I just want to do the right thing. The last thing I want to do is give him some sort of weird complex about going to the bathroom.
There are some things I would/will do differently next time around. For one, start smaller with the potty rewards. I was so excited when he first decided to use the potty that I jumped straight to lollipops, not really thinking ahead to what it might mean to be giving my kid a few lollipops every single day for weeks on end. Woops. I should have started with the potty chart + stickers, which I didn’t start until two weeks in. I didn’t think he would be interested in that AT ALL, since it seemed kind of abstract and he doesn’t even like stickers that much. But he’s into it! He loves to sit on my lap and review the potty chart each time he earns a new sticker. Yesterday I put up a new potty chart for the coming week and he was psyched.
I have to admit I haven’t been consistent with naked/diapers/underwear. I never set out to meet any kind of deadline, so I just keep adjusting the method and feeling out what seems to be working or not. That might be making this take longer, but I am okay with that. My main concern is to allow him to have most of the control and just be there to assist, remind, and encourage, which I’ll tell ya isn’t always easy for me because I am a little control freaky. Asking him 10,000 times a day if he needs to peepee is NOT effective, particularly since he only needs to go a few times a day and is perfectly capable of holding it for hours.
Moms of boys often have the Sit or Stand question to consider, but Miles solved this one for me: without any direction from me, he started climbing onto the toilet seat to sit backwards. He does not like potty chairs and is pretty good with just a regular old toilet, so there you go.
So the conundrum that I’ve been grappling with is whether to put him in diapers or underwear. I feel really bad for the little guy that he is afraid to poop in the toilet anymore and I don’t want to make him soil his pants, but I’m concerned that wearing diapers all the time will send a mixed message – although he does seem to hold his bladder and use the toilet to pee even with a diaper on, which is good. So my in-between solution right now is to have him in underwear at home but put a diaper on for going out, or if I can tell that he’s going to have to poop soon. And just explaining to him every day that he will poop in the toilet when he’s ready, but he can do it in a diaper if he wants to, etc. That was the best solution I could come up with but if anyone has done something different feel free to chime in!
I didn’t want to, because I thought “oh, they are just an expensive marketing ploy for more of my money,” but… the Princess pull-ups that get cold when soiled? Have been a total game-changer for us. Partly because Laura covets the princess design (I know they have a “boy” version), and partly because they are uncomfortable when wet.
But Laura feels like such a big girl, being privilaged to wear a princess pull-up. She’s gone above and beyond this week, making me think of trying the real undies (aka reusable cloth trainers) again this weekend.
So I guess I’m suggesting to stay away from diapers so Miles feels like a big boy, and the poop will come? I’ve also probably internet-bad-karma’ed myself into a whole ton of potty accidents just now! GOOD LUCK!
Oh yes, the internet comment/blog curse. I brought it down on myself by posting this today – two accidents. Oy. I haven’t heard of those pull-ups, glad they are working for you!
We’re in the same boat! Jayda is afraid to poop on the potty, but she also won’t just go in her pull-up/pants if she’s awake because she knows she is supposed to go on the potty….from her own doing, we have told her it’s ok to go in the pull-up. Soo..while she’s awake, she wears panties and when she has to poop we run back and forth to the potty with a bunch of false alarms. Then, at naptime, she wears a pull-up and almost always goes during the nap. If you find a way to ease the FEAR of going on the potty, please let me know!!
I will update if I find a solution! I suspect it’s just a waiting game. M is still okay with using the diaper so that’s where we’re at for now…
Gosh, we’re doing this now too. Started this weekend, and the kiddo has basically been living in underpants and a t-shirt for 6 days. And it’s been… exhausting, I have to say. To say the least. But he’s making so much progress, and every day its getting better.
Ahh yes, the ole poop problem. It hasn’t been a big issue for us, but we figured out this ridiculous trick right away. He is very consistent, it’s almost every morning, sometimes after lunch as well. He always goes behind this chair in our living room when he poops in his diaper, he goes and stands there, and if you walk in the room he yells at you to go away, gripping the chair. Kid likes his privacy, and I guess between the chair and the wall in our living room is a safe space.
So on that first day, when he got down from the breakfast table and started wandering around walking weird, I knew that’s what was happening. He was in undies, so he didn’t know quite what to do with himself, and he didn’t want to sit on the toilet. So we got the potty chair out, and put it behind the chair in the living room, and asked him if he wanted to sit there, and read his Elmo potty book, and go poop.
And he did. And that is what he has done ever since. Now he even says the poop is coming, and I don’t have to do so much body language reading… I just immediately put the potty behind the chair in the living room and tell him to give it a whirl.
Goodness, you do what works right? I’m hoping we’ll be able to transition to the toilet at some point, because yeah, it’s our living room for goodness sakes, but really, I’m not going to push it. So much about them going number 2 is about comfort level, and not feeling worked up or pressured, that’s why even in a diaper he won’t go when we’re out and about.
I hope you can help your little guy find that comfort level soon! Poor thing, I agree, the last thing you want is for them to feel traumatized by the whole thing.
It is a LOT of work and constant vigilance! I like your idea of putting the potty where he already goes! M does NOT like the potty chair but I bet that would work for a lot of other people!
This potty training process is such a mind game for everyone involved, it seems. Annie was doing great with pretty much no accidents for WEEKS, and then will have a day where she has 3, for no reason. It’s so frustrating but I guess eventually (hopefully) that just goes away…!???
Undies all the time worked well for us – it was a tough hurdle to get daycare to let her be in undies for nap but now she’s in undies 100% of the time and is doing pretty good. The poop hurdle was hard for her – she’d just hold it, not request a diaper or anything, she’d just hold it for days and then when she did go she was scared so it took a lot of praise and comforting her and some bigger rewards and eventually it was okay… not sure why or how, I guess just time passing…
Good luck!